I used to be a firm believer of god, but things happened in my life that tested my faith. Honestly speaking, I've failed at situations when my faith or trust in babaji was tested . I am not patient at all and very desperate to get good and instant results. I am always curious to know the REASONS for things that go wrong with me. When i don't have any bad intention, why things don't always go well!!!!.........
Few weeks ago, I stopped doing padh and i never told my parent's about my cold war with babaji. So i went to gurudwara whenever my mom asked me, because i knew if she figure out about my cold war, I will be scolded and will pushed to do padh, which i didn't wanted to.
Couple of days ago i went to gurudwara with mom. Before moving on I have question to people who are reading my blog.....
How many of you can focus and just think about god, when we are in temple or gurudwara? Well ! i can't and honestly, during my cold war, my mind used to wander around even more, I was just there (in gurudwara) because of my mom, and i couldn't pay attention.
So i left mom in Kirtan hall and went to langar hall. I sat next to two aunties whom my mom knew . One of the aunty asked me if i saw the speech of the guy who was suffering from cancer and was fully cured with the miracle that happened at Harmandir Sahib. I said, I don't know about it and don't know about any speech. She started telling me story about the faith of this man, who was at last stage of cancer and had only ten days left of his life. He went to Harmandir sahib and got cured and living life like a normal man.
Sometimes, being a science student and considering the practicality, it becomes hard for me to believe that anything like that can happen. I was like whatever...... cancer can never be cured. I was quietly listening to aunty and didn't presented my opinion, because i didn't wanted to argue, ......I was being smart ass, i was thinking ~these aunties know nothing about cancer...and aunty might have read some stupid punjabi newspaper and now she is making stories...... I was quite sure about my knowledge, because thats what i have learnt in my cellular biology classes that at last stage cancer can't never be cured. To believe her, was like doubting great scientists and biologist, which I had never done before.
Today, I went to same aunty's house with my mom. She told my mom about the same story and also showed the recording of the video of the guy on alpha tv punjabi on her DVR. I was shocked for a minute, now i had to believe her and doubt my knowledge, which i guess is ok!....... Finally, I did heard the speech of that man, he was suffering from throat cancer and was last-staged. He said he was fighting cancer for last one whole year. Somebody told him that if he worship at Harmandir sahib, his cancer will go away.....
His speech was so powerful, it was really touching. Driving back home, I kept thinking that this man is amazing, babaji made him suffer for soooo long . He still went back .....i was thinking what i would have done if i was at his place???? Would i have went back....., I think i am not that strong, i would have never went back......i would have never ended the cold war w
Because i am the person who loses her faith easily.........from easily i mean, one bad test can put my faith in doubt..... I remember university days, one bad test used to make me go nuts. I used to cry and stand in front of babaji's photo and get angry with him. Because i wanted to know the reason, why my test went bad after working hard????
BUT today, I find my self so little, i fought with babaji over test score........, this man, who had just ten days of life remaining had no complains at all, no curosity to find the reason why babaji gave him such a disease????...Is this is a real faith....... i asked myself...???? Or not asking the reason for everything is a true faith???
~Parvy
Because i am the person who loses her faith easily.........from easily i mean, one bad test can put my faith in doubt..... I remember university days, one bad test used to make me go nuts. I used to cry and stand in front of babaji's photo and get angry with him. Because i wanted to know the reason, why my test went bad after working hard????
BUT today, I find my self so little, i fought with babaji over test score........, this man, who had just ten days of life remaining had no complains at all, no curosity to find the reason why babaji gave him such a disease????...Is this is a real faith....... i asked myself...???? Or not asking the reason for everything is a true faith???
~Parvy
5 comments:
Every thing around you is not scientific and you can't analyze all the time. So it better to not ask question and just accept it and move on quietly, but one should always learn.
karma theory is actually very interesting. when you are left with no choice you have to believe. the guy with cancer had two choices one to get treated he was already on that and second was to trust someone that he will be alive and he chose harminder sahib. even if you say that you are in war with babaji, what comes to your mind first when you are anticipating any trouble. yes we all live like that, all gains are outcome of our hardwork and all losses are babaji fault.
you could have done 100/100 in all tests but you failed many a times blame babaji, nope dear its you only. we just need a scape goat to blame babaji. every faliure has some hidden motive, god wants you to better in that area. so if we fail simple messege is "either that is not for you, or you are not good enough for that."
hope you will not have any more cold war.
thank you neeraj very interesting comment...cheers!
Faith n d things v experience hav becum a relativ terms dese daez. Our faith starts dithering wen v experience an adverse situation or sumthin vich we dont expect to happen. it has hapnd a lot many tymz in ma lyf n it recently hapnd agn n i was agn widout any belief on d lord, n i still dn hav it bt sumhw it happens evry nw n den dat weneva i encounter a diff situation d frst word dat cums in d mind is d lords name. den i think perhaps i m tryin to b wat i m not.
dere was a chinese saint named lahutsu. in his single work of writin in his lyftym, d frst sentence he wrote was "jiske baare mein kuch kaha nahi ja sakta, uske baare mein kehna vyarth hai". and he talkd abt faith n belief n he said evryone's faithful n evryone's a believer n to sum extent i think he was right.
n wat i feel is dat we let our faith b affected by d circumstances in our lives n dats wat we shud work upon, though its vry much difficult. lyk d path thing u hav written.
God blezz
failure or success shud not interfere with ur faith. although u worked hard and had no bad intentions, but still its ur luck that has to play a vital role at every single part of ur life. and how can u connect getting less marks in a test with God!! r u trying to establish some 'deal' with Him? that "i will work hard and will keep my intentions pure and You keep on showing me good results"?? no dear, it can never be like that.
even in Geeta, Lord Krishna has said, "Karmandye vaadhikaraste, maa faleshu kadaachan"... means 'you (humans) just keep on doing your work, and leave the results to me (God)'.
and i think its the best way of living. if u do ur 'karma' honestly without thinking about lavishing results, u will surely do the things at ur best.
Post a Comment