Uncertainties of Life

Finally, after 10 days, I'm at work today, I was really uncertain of things that were happening in my life from past few days. I left early from Niharika's home, and was at work half n hour before my usual time. There were no cars in parking lot and it was kind of cold morning. I was really happy to be back at work. The first thing I did when i stepped into the lab, i went to the corner of the room looking for hamster cages. ...I found most of the hamster asleep. I opened the cage and held one of the hamsters in hand... BUT not like lab technician but as an animal lover. As a lab technician we are trained to hold the rodents from their tail....which is really mean, I know. I do torture these poor creatures sometimes while testing the chemicals that make them go through severe pain, but its part of my job. Sometimes I kill them when i give them stroke to test the new plant extracts and sometimes i have to take their spinal cord out and section them into pieces...yeah yeah i know i am not even proud of killing animals. I do feel guilty at times. 

Touching the white fur of hamster I was feeling great and relieved. Holding the little cute hamster in my hand I started looking over the new pictures that were posted on the poster board from our San Diego trip. My picture with Charlie getting award for being best research aide. The picture of me doing presentation and i kept starring at that picture of mine. I told myself this is who I am, I have to go far along. Nothing should really prevent me from reaching the status I want to have in my life. I have to work hard by forgetting everything that has happened in past. The whole feeling of uncertainty started to disappear and I was being back to what i am and what i want to be.

I have missed not being at work, i guess being at home was just torture, since there is nothing interesting to do. I hate being couch potato and watch movies all day. Lot has happen in last ten days. eeeeehhh....nothing very interesting, mostly the silly stuff that i could have prevented from being happening. But being optimistic today, I guess everything happens for good reason. I am still recovering from the back pain I was having for quite a while now and moving from apartment has made it even worse. After some time, the coordinator Evan came and he told me that most of the employees are leaving for Santa Monica, which I totally forgot. So there was not much to do and I could have went back home, but I didn't wanted to because I knew if I gave myself little free time, I will go back to thinking which i don't want to. So I decided to stick around and test some new samples of compounds that we have recently received from South Korea.

In few minutes rest of my colleagues came and everybody at work was really happy to see me and I was also relieved being with people I love to work. My work has become my meditation, since yoga has stopped working for me. I am not able to focus while doing yoga.

Parvy!